Horses, Alice and me.

At a party to celebrate a friend’s 40^th birthday last weekend, on the same day as my 42^nd birthday, the conversation turned to eating and I remarked that, being blessed without an ounce of willpower, I would eat until I exploded.  I compared myself to my dog, the beloved Alice, who shares my degree of gluttony and who would earnestly polish off bowl after bowl of kibble mere seconds after placing it down in front of her nacho cheese paws.  A woman, blonde now, brunette at some point, sloped nose, cuddling her white wine glass with both hands, wearing a smart black vest, with the breathless slur of an irrepressible early form cougar remarked, eyes creasing as she spoke …“Horses are like that too.”

Thus providing the providing me the title of today’s blog post.  Even emailed to myself as a reminder.  Which of course I needed, because a quick jaunt to Oakville to hide in the shadows of another’s birthday celebration turned into an all nighter of gently epic proportions.  I made it home in the morning, and using the birthday bank I proceeded to sleep it off in the lavender scented birthday sheets and pillows purchased by my wife for five straight hours.  Yes I woke up at 3pm.  Nope, did not embark on a promised culinary journey with burgeoning chef Hudson.  Nope I did not help with any harried house tasks that Steph needs to accomplish on Sunday to make her weekends complete.  Yes I fell asleep again on the couch this time, with mouth agape, until Steph rightfully demanded that “just go back to bed Jason…”   You know, classic 42 year old stuff.

So the last five weeks has been a blur between Steph and me.  Just one of those valleys in time where we pass each other in the night or in the morning doing our best to parent via tag team and offer occasional reminders that we actually like and love each other.  It’s a strain, because the missing time makes it easier to snap or nag or whine or moan and that does nothing to inspire the desire that is currently on vacation.

It will come back, it always does, after 12 years married and 14 years together we are smart enough to know that weeks, even months of ghost spousing always finds a path back to marital greatness.  She is my true rock, my lover and best friend and I would be a big freaking mess without her.

Basically I just miss her.